Ray O’Conor & Joe Murphy

A Friendship for the Ages

By Linda Waxman Finkle

When 55-year-old Ray O’Conor and 25-year-old Joe Murphy found themselves in the same vehicle one morning in May 2009, little did they know that the former’s extensive CD collection would hold a key to their future relationship. “Bob Dylan, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, The Doobie Brothers,” says Ray. “In spite of age, we had a lot in common in music.” As members of the Adirondack Mountain Club, they were part of a group heading up to do the Seward Range that day, and would find themselves together again the following month climbing the Santanonis.

While Joe was fairly new to the sport, Ray had been hiking for 35 years, embarking on the Adirondack 46er with his son, Brian. But his son’s marriage and a new job meant a change in plans, and the need for a new hiking partner. “There’s something motivating about hanging around with younger people, and the level of energy and enthusiasm that Joe has is infectious.” So began an uncommon friendship that continues to this day. Ray is still the only one who drives, and Raymunto’s is their requisite pizza stop when hiking in Vermont and New Hampshire.

Over the years, each has bagged over 300 peaks, collecting stories along the way. In January 2012, while chipping away at the Adirondack Winter 46er, they decided to do a five-mountain traverse in one day. Although they had an early start, it soon began to snow heavily, and then blizzard. Crawling up Gothics, as inches of powder quickly turned into feet, visibility was less than 10 feet in front of them. “Ray, are we going to die today?!” screamed Joe over incessantly howling winds; he was half serious. While they were prepared to spend the night, it was the last thing they wanted to do in these conditions. But, without a trail in sight, they might have little choice. They’d left information about where they were going and when they’d be back, and Ray knew that if it started getting late and she hadn’t heard from him, his wife Mary wouldn’t hesitate to call the Rangers. As it turned out, luck was on their side that day, and after a few more hours of stumbling around blindly, they spotted a trail marker, and found a way out. It was one of the scariest days of their lives.

Challenges are nothing new to Ray – he’s lived a life full of them, with demanding roles as a bank CEO, US Border Patrol agent, and Special Agent with the US Dept of Defense. In addition to climbing, he’s been a runner, cyclist and triathlete. And in 2012, after a surprise revelation at his mother’s 80th birthday a few years earlier, he left the top position at Saratoga National Bank to uncover the story of Helen Gregg and Clarence R. Stephenson. Through painstaking research, he discovered his namesake, and went on to tell the fascinating tale of a tumultuous time in our nation’s history, and in his own family’s as well. Published in 2015, She Called Him Raymond received excellent reviews, and has since been adapted into a screenplay (Foreverly), gaining attraction and recognition from the film industry.

Ray and Joe’s adventures offer potential fodder for another book, and would undoubtedly include their novel approach to wildlife safety, employed while hiking the Tripyramid peaks in New Hampshire in August 2013. Wondering about a rustling sound by a sharp curve they were nearing, the two were surprised to find that what they thought was a hiker in brown fleece, was actually an enormous bull moose staring directly at them. The concepts of making themselves look as big as possible and backing away slowly went out the window as they furiously searched for their cellphones, and attempted to get the ‘nature shot of the day’ by chasing down the rapidly retreating, hapless moose. In their defense, they did manage to secure one of their all-time favorite photos – a classic highlighting the back of Joe’s head and half of the moose’s hind quarters.

Before the pair met, Joe, an Academic Advisor at University at Albany, had done little hiking. Now living in Halfmoon with his girlfriend, Nicole, he’d moved to Saratoga Springs after graduate school, and was eagerly searching for a new hobby and exercise regimen to augment running on a treadmill and lifting weights. “I’m Ray, just 30 years ago,” he says. “And he’s like an onion-peeling away the layers, you’re always learning something new about him.” On a hike, it had started to pour when they were about halfway up, and they still had more than two miles to go after they hit the summit to reach the place where they were staying. When they heard thunder, Joe asked if their attempt was over. “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” Ray responded. They ran to the top, took a quick photo, and started heading down. “You know, the Germans didn’t bomb Pearl Harbor,” Joe offered when they reached their destination. “Haven’t you seen Animal House?” quipped Ray, highlighting their generational difference.

Ray and Joe are often accompanied on their climbing trips by friends, Alison and Jon, a couple who met while hiking and are now married to each other. The four comprise the MOLD Mountaineering Society (each letter represents the first letter in their last names), where encouragement and support are an expectation. On July 4, 2015, when Ray alone was forced to go home after injuring his leg during a 10-mountains-in-four-days attempt in Maine, Joe, Jon and Alison made the decision to return with Ray the following year. July 18, 2016 saw the four of them back on Mount Abraham in Maine, with Ray now sharing in the group’s victory, completing the Northeast 115. They celebrated by surprising Ray, breaking out a box of his favorite snack, Twinkies.

One year, after participating in many hikes with ADK, Joe and Ray decided to give back to the organization by leading a hike together. They chose Haystack for an 18-mile climb, taking 10 others with them, and connected with each person prior to the hike to make sure they were up to the challenge. A particular young man had indicated that he was a very experienced hiker, but he ended up having difficulties on the way to the top, and crumbled physically and emotionally on the way down. Seeing the writing on the wall, Ray asked Joe to take the other nine and head out; he would stay with the struggling hiker and get him down. “I wish Joe was here, he’s so much nicer,” Ray recalls Robbie lamenting throughout the descent. Four hours later, they finally finished, and rejoined Joe.

Joe’s most memorable hike was in Maine in July 2019. Over three days, he and Ray bushwhacked through six remote mountains, with the final one placing them on the border between the US and Canada. With a 20-foot wide, clear-cut trail, depending on foot placement, you could momentarily be in one country and then the other, and the scenery was breathtaking. Panther Mountain in the Catskills, where he and Ray tried to imitate the large feline for the camera, is another source of laughter for both. “Joe is an old soul. We look at life in the same way, and have similar positive attitudes,” says Ray. Their deep and abiding friendship comes from years of shared experiences, seeking adventure, and testing their endurance levels. They trust and rely on each other, and an inimitable bond has grown between them. And they just have a lot of fun. 

One of Ray’s favorite quotes is by Martin Buber: All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. With future climbing goals that include 52 with a View (New Hampshire mountains under 4,000’ (but over 2500’) that have incredible views, Adirondack Fire Towers in the Winter, Catskill 102 Highest, and the Highest Peaks in each of the 50 States, exciting journeys and interesting destinations are guaranteed for both. We wish them the best in their explorations, and hope that they continue to share their stories, spread their joy, and grow their friendship.

Linda Waxman Finkle (lwf518@gmail.com) is a writer, kayaking instructor, and event coordinator in Albany. She also enjoys hiking and cycling, and learning something new each day.